Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I was going to update this blog this weekend...



...but then I had Burger King instead. True story and Jerry busted me on it.

Behold the face of evil.



I had 2 whopper juniors and a doctor pepper. Yeah, pretty catastrophic.

In bright news, I shaved this weekend (sad that it is a big deal) and am dressed up quite spiffy today.

Damn it. I had a vanilla latte this morning. Wow, this accountability thing sucks, but probably works.

I did watch some pretty bad ass parkeur videos, does that count as a workout?

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Tuesday, wait, what?!?

Well now, this is a bit awkward. I know I was supposed to call you over the weekend but I kind of got, uh busy you know? No, no, not like that. I am never too busy for you, I just, uh, couldn't get to my computer. No, that wasn't me at that site, someone must have, uh, spoofed my ip or something...

Okay, so what really happened this weekend - I got in a couple of 40k games - big fun. A couple of great games. Eating took a big hit as I just kind of went crazy. I am not going to crucify myself for it, though, the year is young and I don't want to get discouraged, better just to get back on track.

I am pleased to report I haven't bitten my nails a single time since starting this blog. In related news, I just posted my scratching stick on craigs list. Optimistic? Yes, yes I am.

Uhhh painting wise I didn't do a damn thing. I keep my paints in a lower cabinet which has been childproofed since E joined us. Yes, I can get through the childproofing, but my laziness is epic and would have songs dedicated to it were I not so, uh, lazy.

I ordered us debit cards for the credit union so am making progress on that front.

Final news is that I start my hypnosis class this week.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Work is cramping my blogging... ;-)

Another busy day - have a release on Monday. Quick update - had a great dinner last night - Ileana made a bean and tomato soup with the left over white beans. Had a banana milkshake again (don't look at me, the bananas were going bad!)

Did yoga again last night, strange thing is my feet are sore today. Very odd.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Another busy day at work

Just a really quick update because it is another crazy busy day at work - did some writing yesterday - scripts for a video game sorta thing so it counts.

Also, dinner was an awesome wilted arugala salad with onions, garlic, and white beans. Had a half of a banana shake for desert (that is awesomely healthy - the bananas make it a fruit, right?)

Worked on painting for TOMG - got Koko almost done.

Came to the realization that Hermosa beach is just up the street, Huntington is much, much further.

Breakfast was a cup of malt-o-meal with milk and a taste of sugar. I made my trader joe's instant coffee this morning (surprisingly tasty, btw) with a splash nonfat milk.

Mid morning I had about a cup of TJs plain unsweetened yogurt with about 15 blueberries mixed in and a cup of earl grey.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Just a quick update

Work is pretty busy today so I will probably post less than I have been. Quick notes - dinner last night was 2 bean and cheese quesadillas (on wheat tortillas) with homemade guacamole and ralph's salsa with water to drink. Not great but not terrible.

I have to thank Ileana for pushing me to do some yoga last night. I was expecting it to be bad and it was worse. There is definitely nowhere to go but up. Also did some pushups and situps, they went better than expected - I did 10 of each and felt I could have done more, but am trying to intentionally take it easy.

I did a little bit of writing, about 3 paragraphs. Not a lot, but again, it is all about beginnings at this point.

Breakfast today was a cup of malt-o-meal with some organic milk and a bit of sugar and a cup of coffee with nonfat milk and 4 packets of sugar (garuda at peet's always is extra bitter to me).

Other good news, I remembered my pipe and my multivitamin.

Bad news is that I didn't do a lick of painting last night. Tonight is paint night so I will get some in there - my friend Brian Scolaro is performing in Huntington Beach tonight so I might try and make that which would cut paint time down considerably.

Okay, back to the salt mines.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Goal posts, cause otherwise when would you know that you scored?

Okay, so getting in shape is pretty nebulous. I am going to do a quick test tonight and see how pathetic I do, but I am going to fall back to military style fitness test - run, push up, sit up, pull up.

I and going to see how much I can do of each by March. In the army we would typically do things for 2 minutes, so I am going to go off that and bearing in mind my personal bests as near I can remember.

All that waffling being laid out with a bit of powdered sugar (man, I am hungry) my goals summoned from thin air will be this (these might be adjusted based on reality):

50 situps in 2 minutes
30 pushups in 2 minutes
5 pull ups
and 2 miles in 18 minutes

I think all of those are reasonable and, honestly, probably a little light but we'll see.

Strange days indeed

So, I ate pretty much the exact same thing today as I did yesterday. I started with Malt-o-meal and a cup o-black-coffee had the same salad thingie for lunch, 3 squares of dark chocolate and about 10 pistachios. I am freaking starving today. My physical exertion has been roughly the same, walk to trader joe's, sit on my butt and do work. I have been struggling with a sql proggie but, come on, not like I have built up a sweat there.

I know sometimes the body misinterprets thirst as hunger so have had my 2 cups of tea and also 3 glasses of water, which is more than yesterday. Very interesting. Thank goodness there is no cheesecake in the kitchen today, my willpower is far weaker today.

A bit of inspiration

My friend Jonathan sent me this to help motivate me and I think it is pretty cool. I admit that I read it fast through the first time and didn't really appreciate it, but then went back and reread it and thought about it a bit more and it is really cool.

'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty. - Zec 4:6

So, thanks again to Jon.

The book I am reading right now



Oh yeah, the book I am starting to read right now is Lifeguard by James Patterson and Andrew Cross. I stole it from my mom when I was visiting her over the summer - I have been wanting to read some good mystery/thrillers and his name comes up fairly often. If you have any comments for other authors please let me know in the comments.

day 2 which is actually the 5th

Well, didn't write yesterday. I went to a very interesting talk held by Father Joe from St. Paul the Apostle church on the idea of moral relativism which got me thinking quite a bit - I will probably write scraps of ideas throughout the day as they come to me in my notebook and work on that tonight.

On another note, stepped on the scale this morning and hit 270. Sad to say that I was pleasantly surprised - I expected it to be more. At least it gives me a good benchmark for beginning. I have always been a big guy - my Army weight running at under 10% body fat never really got below 180-185 so I think I will be happy if I can drop it down to 220 or so. I am not so much interested in the number as how I look and feel, but the weight is an easy mark.

Uh, dinner last night was left over pasta - yeah, I know, drop carbs if you want to lose weight, but as I said above, it isn't about the number. I am Irish and I likes me some starches. It's not about starving me.

Uh, what else. Oh yeah, that talk ended up going kind of late so no yoga either, that means I am gonna have to do 3 out of the next 4 days in order to make the goal on that. Ed, keep an eye on youtube for fat guys doing yoga. I know you are into that sort of thing. I won't be posting me, but maybe it will help you get through the day ;-)

Finally, I think I did a very good job of maintaining a positive attitude yesterday for the whole day, even as people cut me off on the drive home. I came to the realization that the only way to have a positive attitude is to have a positive attitude.

That is it for this morning, off to make myself a bit o' the o-meal. Wow, saucy. Have an awesome day, everyone!

Monday, January 4, 2010

Lunch

Food journals are supposed to be really helpful, so here, enjoy.

Lunch today was a salad of arugala and mixed lettuce with some "just chicken" from trader joe's a a bit of greek dressing (about half what I would normally go with) and a cup of green tea.

I also drank a cup of water and am now working on an Earl Grey tea. Sadly I forgot my multi vitamin. Oh yeah, I also had three small squares of trader joe's dark chocolate.

Breakfast was a cup or so of malt-o-meal (as Morgan said, it must be winter) with 2 spoons of sugar and a cup of black coffee.

I also put a can of sunkist orange soda on my desk. Everytime I think of going for something more sweet it is there with the nutritional value facing me. So far I have made 2 cups of tea thanks to the temptation of the orange soda ;-)

I am going to have some peanut butter crackers soon, and I am gonna enjoy them.

Like nails on a chalkboard

Wow, I literally had no idea how often my fingers were in my mouth. I keep catching myself. Probably a dozen times today and it isn't even 2. It is really the mindlessness of it that catches me off guard.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Resolutions...

Wow, already 2010. It feels like I have absolutely wasted the last couple of years by spinning my wheels and doing the same things and getting the same results. This year, for the first time in several years, I have made several resolutions for myself. As I was thinking about it I figured if nothing else, I was putting it out to the universe.

Then the thought hit me as to why I have struggled a bit in the past with these (the universe speaking, perhaps?) is that I typically keep them to myself. This year I have decided to try something a bit different in creating this blog and inviting some people to follow it and, perhaps, mercilessly mock me when I fall short...

Also, in this blog it will hopefully help keep these intentions front and center and keep my focus on them.

It is also my intent to update this fairly regularly with stupid and minor updates - probably more than is sane, but that way I can put all of my little triumphs and tragedies. Feel free to not follow this religiously, it won't hurt my feelings. I promise.

So, without further ado, here are the resolutions I have come up with thus far - the list ended up being far more prodigious than I had intended - those scraps of paper do add up - which is something that led to my original and first resolution. I might even add additional ones later but when I do it will likely be as new posts rather than editing this original one. Oh yeah I will also write my intent on these so I can stay true to the spirit

The List:
2010 Resolutions

* Write every single day - Preferably something creative though not necessarily. Any writing is good writing, but work stuff doesn't count. Letters (not email) does, however.

* Show gratitude - This is quite possibly the one failure of which I am most ashamed. I have a pretty good life and yet am often negligent in expressing my gratitude to those who touch my life in such awesome and profound ways. I find myself wondering if there is an expiration date on such gratitude - after what length of time is it no longer appropriate to say "thanks".

* Paint one unit of ogres per month - This is for my Warhammer hobby (for those of you who don't know my geekier side). I have had these models in a box for going on 4 years. I like how they look and though I don't currently play the game, it would be good to get them painted and then either display them or sell them. Besides, painting them is quite relaxing for me.

* Stay on target for Tale of Many Gamers - Another hobby related thing - this is for a futuristic wargame which I do play. I am in a league which builds armies slowly over the course of 8 months with games each month. I signed up for it at the end of last year as a way to paint some of my unpainted models. This also inspired one of the resolutions further below as I really started thinking about all the unpainted, unfinished stuff I have.

* Sell something writing related - this one is a bit more difficult as it requires some action on someone else's part (i.e. writing me a check...) but the only way that will happen is if I submit like crazy. let the insanity begin.

* Drink only one coffee in the morning - no lattes or mochas. These are so tasty because they are chock full of sugar and extra calories. I am a big guy by nature so every little bit I cut out will (hopefully) help.

* Drink tea instead of soda and coffee later in the day - I like regular tea and green tea both, so I am a bit fortunate there. I will do at least one green tea per day and then some black. Perhaps I can pretend to be a classy Brit and have afternoon tea and my pipe on occasion ;-) (which reminds me, I need to bring my pipe to work and take a trip down to the tobacconist).

* Yoga 4 times a week - Morning or evening, whichever (mornings can be rough for me). My flexibility is pretty lame right now and as flexibility is a measure of overall health I think not much more needs to be said.

* Start running plan from Jerry (walk at beginning) - last time I did this I got a bit... excited and ended up jacking my knee a bit (it still pops randomly) so I am gonna force myself to take it slow.

* Eat well - a bit more nebulous than is advised, however, this is an overall lifestyle change that will be for the best so I am okay with it. I will just try to keep my intention as such and be mindful of what I stuff in my gullet.

* Be more open with Ileana - I have a tendency to keep things to myself. I think it would be unrealistic to expect myself to open up to every one. Ileana, however, should certainly be an exception whether the things I have to share be good news or bad.

* Play in a big tournament - I really enjoy going to these things and every time I do go to one I say to myself "I really want to do more of these" but then I fail to make time. This year for sure I will go to at least one.

* Pay off one credit card completely - Stephen King once wrote something along the lines that credit cards are the anchors of mediocrity. I have certainly allowed myself to become anchored (in part because of the huge amount of time I was unemployed last year - but also because sometimes it was just too easy to use) and I wish to be exceptional.

* Find a new place to live in LA - we love the area we are in, but the one bedroom apartment is starting to feel small with Ellie.

* Go on a nice family hike/walk/park every week - More family time can only be a good thing, right?

* Finish everything I start (or don't start something that I don't think I can't finish) - I suppose my own hobgoblin is my crow-like attention span. As soon as I see something new and shiny I get distracted. Also, I am often guilty of underestimating the time/energy requirements of my passion de jour and get all hot and bothered only to run out of steam before we have well and truly left the dock.

* Quit biting fingernails - a nasty filthy habit that I have done for my entire life. For some reason any unevenness in my nails drive me crazy. I am not exaggerating when I say that I have bitten them down to bleeding on an almost weekly basis since I was a child.

* Do finances - Ileana has been in charge of handling our finances and has done a great job with it, but I know it is weighing her down and causing her a great deal of stress. I will take them over and give her a bit of a break.

* Convert all financial things over to credit union from Wells Fargo and close Wells Fargo account - we have been with Wells Fargo for a very long time and pretty much just stay there out of inertia despite belonging to a credit union. It is just silly to not be 100% in the credit union with its not for profit status.

* Don't say anything negative - Hopefully this will eventually translate to not thinking negative either. I used to be a painfully happy-go-lucky person and am not sure what happened to change that. A bit of negativity crept in and like some insidious mold has expanded to suffocate my inner spirit. I need to make whatever changes necessary to get back to the better me.

* Dress better - in general take a bit more pride in my personal appearance. Try and figure out what my look is and then do it well - it will take a bit of an investment but will be well worth it. Impressions matter.

* Read a book every couple of weeks - I love to read and used to keep a book with me at all times. I was told it was rude and so stopped it and have felt myself growing dumber as a result. Not to mention that I just love to read, so I am willing to take the hit on being rude for this one.

* Go to acting/writing networking opportunities - I know it is all about networking and I like mingling, somehow, again, I have become more of a shrinking violet. I am a freaking Leo for crying out loud, my spirit is near broken and I cannot have that. Besides, if nepotism is the standard, why not be a recipient ;-) ?

* Update acting resume' - I was fortunate enough to have a small part in an indy film last year and it was easily one of the most fun experiences of my life. I want to do more of that and the only way is to put myself out there.

* Get head shots taken in march and start submitting for work (no plays!) - No disrespect intended to the the theater, it is just not my calling and it would be easy to get sucked into doing something out of a feeling of it being what I "should" be doing. It seems that no one in the entertainment industry got where they are by doing what they should. The more I submit to, the more likely I am to get some kind of hit.

* Have great posture by the end of the year - Posture is an external reflection of the internal but also reinforcement for the internal. If I improve my posture, my spirit will carry itself different as well.

Okay, well I guess that is enough for this post. In fact, it is probably ridiculously long, but that is good enough for me.

2010 Resolutions

Wow, already 2010. It feels like I have absolutely wasted the last couple of years by spinning my wheels and doing the same things and getting the same results. This year, for the first time in several years, I have made several resolutions for myself. As I was thinking about it I figured if nothing else, I was putting it out to the universe.

Then the thought hit me as to why I have struggled a bit in the past with these (the universe speaking, perhaps?) is that I typically keep them to myself. This year I have decided to try something a bit different in creating this blog and inviting some people to follow it and, perhaps, mercilessly mock me when I fall short...

Also, in this blog it will hopefully help keep these intentions front and center and keep my focus on them.

So, without further ado, here are the resolutions I have come up with thus far - the list ended up being far more prodigious than I had intended - those scraps of paper do add up - which is something that led to my original and first resolution. I might even add additional ones later, but will do so as new posts and not edit this one no matter what (it would make it too easy to change one or two of the more "inconvenient" ones ;-) - oh yeah I will also write my intent on these so I can stay true to the spirit

The List:
2010 Resolutions

* Write every single day - Preferably something creative though not necessarily. Any writing is good writing, but work stuff doesn't count. Letters (not email) does, however.

* Paint one unit of ogres per month - This is for my Warhammer hobby (for those of you who don't know my geekier side). I have had these models in a box for going on 4 years. I like how they look and though I don't currently play the game, it would be good to get them painted and then either display them or sell them. Besides, painting them is quite relaxing for me.

* Stay on target for Tale of Many Gamers - Another hobby related thing - this is for a futuristic wargame which I do play. I am in a league which builds armies slowly over the course of 8 months with games each month. I signed up for it at the end of last year as a way to paint some of my unpainted models. This also inspired one of the resolutions further below as I really started thinking about all the unpainted, unfinished stuff I have.

* Sell something writing related

* Drink only one coffee in the morning - no lattes or mochas

drink green tea instead of soda and coffee

yoga every day

walk at beginning and do running plan

eat well

be more open with Ileana

Play in a big tournament

pay off one credit card completely

find a new place to live in LA

go on a nice family hike/walk/park every week

finish everything I start (or don't start something that I don't think I can't finish)

quit biting fingernails

do finances

convert all financial things over to credit union from wells fargo - close wells fargo

don't say anything negative

dress better

read a book every couple of weeks